Anger is a natural emotion that is neither good nor bad. Anger is both a physical and emotional response to the world. It is one of the emotions that make us human. Anger is a two-step process. Anger starts with an experience of pain. The pain can be either physical or emotional: it can be a stomach ache or fatigue, feelings of rejection or loss. The pain leads to arousal, a strong drive for discharge and stress reduction. Step two in the anger process is the use of trigger thoughts. These are attributions that blame and condemn others for the painful experience. Individuals use trigger thoughts to ignite feelings of anger and discharge some of their arousal. While everyone feels angry at times, each of us handles that feeling differently. While there are hundreds of ways to express anger, when we become abusive or violent, and harm others in our expression of anger, it is time to consider changing the ways we express our angry feelings.
You have three basic psychological needs that must be satisfied to feel that your world is a good place to be:
- The need to be valued
- The need to be in control of your life
- The need to like yourself
Anger tells you that these basic needs are being threatened. Anger pushes you to take action to get your needs met and make your world safe.
Uncontrolled anger can lead to negative consequences including:
Dealing with anger:
- Anger can be defused by talking with a friend.
- You can learn relaxation techniques.
- You can learn positive communication skills
- You can learn how to use positive self-talk
- You can learn to have more realistic expectations.
- You can enroll in an anger management program
For More Information
For more information, call New Horizons Counseling Center at (815) 235-6171.